Before Type O Negative would make a name for themselves with their gloom/goth rock, they released this debut album "Slow, Deep, and Hard", an album which I hold as the quintessential album for those who have ever been cheated on. Opener "Unsuccessfully Coping With the Natural Beauty of Infidelity" is a twelve minute rant from frontman Pete Steele about cheating girlfriends and the heartache that goes with it, while "Xero Tolerance" continues this with killing the girlfriend's new boyfriend, and concludes with "Prelude to Agony" finishes all this up with killing the cheating girlfriend. Other songs like "Untermensch" and "Glass Walls of Limbo" deal with topics of hatred and introspection, and the final track, "Gravitational Constant" sums up the entire album with a tale of suicide. The catchy yet heavy gloom/goth/whatever songs bleed into one another, making "Slow, Deep, and Hard" more than an album and the tracks more than just songs, it makes everything the entire concept of what Type O (and mainly Pete Steele) stand for. All in all, this is an excellent introduction to Type O, and this album would not be topped until the instant classic "Bloody Kisses".

Slow, Deep and Hard, one of the most controversial albums in (what was then) underground metal. Pete was going through a tough time with a female relation and his anger shows through brightly, clearly and explicitly. Unsuccessfully Coping and Xero Tolerance are two of the best break-up songs ever (as long as you don't take an axe to her like in XT). Those pale next to Prelude to Agony with contains a brilliant monastic chant early on. Der Untermensch is all about people who live off the government instead of working for a living and is filled with righteous indignation. The last track Gravitational Constant is about depression and suicide and is brilliant. Interesting notes about this album, Pete had to answer millions of questions about the anti-female slant of the album and he had to answer a million times that is wasn't about women in general, just about one he was very upset with and it came through (in fact provided most of the impetus for) the album. In Germany it was reported that death threats were issued and the right-wing factions accused him of being communist while the left-wingers called him a fascist. This comes through in Bloody Kisses (We Hate Everyone). This is a very strong album and while it is not as technically sound as Negative albums that come after, the raw energy and brutal honesty are captivating.

Type O Negative may be known now as an atmospheric doom metal outfit, but before going Gothic Peter Steele and company released this classic thrash album that smacked more of Peter's old band Carnivore than the band that recorded "Bloody Kisses" and "October Rust." Filled with fist-pumping, head-banging anthems for the angry and disaffected, "Slow, Deep and Hard" is surely one of metal's most unfairly neglected albums. It may not have the epic ambience of some of the band's later work, but "Slow, Deep and Hard" more than compensates with plenty of aggression and tongue-in-cheek (at least I think it's tongue-in-cheek) humor.

While bands like Metallica had made epic songs a staple of metal during the '80's, "Slow, Deep and Hard" boasts tracks so long it almost makes "Master of Puppets" look like a Ramones album. Angry, visceral thrash metal shares space with gloomy, atmospheric passages, pushing many of the songs on the album near or past the ten-minute mark. In its more intense moments, "Slow, Deep and Hard" is almost [very descriptive]: you'll be too busy banging your head and laughing at Peter's hilariously over-the-top lyrics to worry too much about little things like musicianship or artistic merit. During slower periods, Peter sounds suprisingly vulnerable and melancholic, with his doomy bass singing foreshadowing the direction Type O would take on "Bloody Kisses" and subsequent albums.

The album starts off in the best way possible with what may well be the best song in history, the twelve-plus-minute epic "unsuccessfully coping with the natural beauty of infidelity." A profanity-laced rant written from the point of view of a guy who knows his girlfriend's cheating on him, the song is a masterpiece of anger and depression that often makes me wonder whether I should laugh or cry. I can't go in depth about the lyrics, but when Peter starts yelling angry (and colorful) words in that unmistakable cookie-monster growl of his, it's pretty damn hard not to shout along with him. Lowbrow? Maybe. Fun? Definitely.

Although the album (in my opinion) reaches its high water mark on track one, there's some more great stuff on here. "unsuccessfully coping with the natural beauty of infidelity" is bookended by another classic, the closing "gravitational constant," an uber-depressing dirge from the point of view of someone about to commit suicide. "der untermensch" is a laugh-out-loud polemic against "wastes of life" that live off the government rather than get jobs (I can forgive the song's blatant racial overtones since the lyrics aren't directed at *all* black people, merely the parasitic ones). "xero tolerance" is a frightening revenge fantasy capped off by Peter's indelible roar of "I'll kill you tonight!" The only songs here that don't really work are "glass of walls of limbo (dance mix)" and "the misinterpretation of silence and its disastrous consequences," two interludes that don't really add much to the album. These two tracks aren't exactly terrible, but putting them back to back was a bad idea, and at more than six minutes "glass walls of limbo" is way too long. Oh well. At an average length of about ten minutes, the other five tracks give you more than your money's worth. "Slow, Deep and Hard" gets my hearty recommendation for metal fans, especially those who don't take themselves too seriously.

I love Type O Negative. Peter Steele, the singer/bassist, is my all-time, biggest hero. If you're a new TON fan, you'll be surprised when you hear this album. But if you've been a fan of Steele's work since he was in Carnivore, this is old news. But this review is mostly for new fans. As the title says, this album isn't like TON, this is a much heavier, angrier album than what they are today. This is what Carnivore would sound like if they had a keyboard player. Read on for the tracks...

1. Unsuccessfully Coping With the Natural Beauty of Infidelity - 99999999999999999999999999/5 My favorite Type O Negative song ever! Possibly their heaviest song ever. This is part 1 of the story: The boyfriend finding out his girlfriend cheated on him.

2. Untermensch - 5/5

3. Xero Tolerance - 5/5 Part 2 of the story: The boyfriend killing the guy his girlfriend was dating.

4. Prelude to Agony - 5/5 Part 3 of the story: The boyfriend killing the cheating girlfriend.

5. Glass Walls of Limbo [Dance Mix] - N/A Weird...

6. Misinterpretation of Silence and Its Disastrous Consequences - N/A STUPID! Just one minute of silence!

7. Gravitational Constant - 5/5 Exellent closer.

If you're new to TON, this isn't the place to start - That's what October Rust is there for.

(...)

I bought this after having immersed myself in Bloody Kisses and October Rust. I didn't get it--at first. The sound is primitive compared to BK and OR, but this is a 'small' album. Also, it is the only TON album not produced by Silver/Steele. I guess it can be looked at as the intersecting point of Carnivore and TON. There's a faraway quality to a lot of TON's music, as if it was made and (originally) played 7-800 years ago. The main track is the first one. It details the reason for the album while the others are insights into Peter Steele's struggle in dealing with it. After many, many, many listens, I am most impressed with 'Glass Walls of Limbo'. For a band to put a track like this on an album, AND let it stand on its own, is a testament to the creativity of Peter Steele. It's not music per se, yet the layered (dark) chanting speaks volumes without ever uttering an actual word. To me, it is about soldiering on through the 'winter' of our lives--those times of depression, frustration, gloom, negativity, and just that general feeling that everything sucks, and we're powerless to change the monotony of our jobs, relationships, our days and our nights--that we're stuck in one long 'Groundhog Day'. I find this track especially apropos for rainy/windy/dark days or nights. It has a very medieval feel. In some ways, this track represents Peter's life--loud, strong, sad, dark, depressing, thunderous/big, etc. I like the other tracks, but I hum 'Glass Walls of Limbo'. To me, it's the most unique one and, by itself, makes this album a must have.