I think that if you are going to use a drum machine it would be a good idea to learn to use the tempo key. The first eight songs all played at the same speed making it seem like I was listening to one really long boring song with lame lyrics. I'm sure the videos must be better as this group must rely on the T and A factor. It is also a shame to remake songs worse then they originally were as this group does on several occassions. But there must always be a plus side for every action so here is my attempt for wasting the $14.00. The disc does make a good drink coaster.

There's an old song that goes something like "Take ten terrific girls but only nine costumes, and you'll have a burlesque show". This song came to mind when I found out that "The Pussycat Dolls" is a very popular burlesque act, which has been hitting the stages of LA and Vegas, in hot spots like Johnny Depp's Viper Room (gratuitous Johnny Depp plug here), The Roxy and Caesars Palace, since 1993.

Led most of the way by Carmen Electra, the group has attracted many guest performers over the years, including Christina Aguilera (why does this not surprise me?), Pamela Anderson (ditto), Christina Applegate, Fergie, Paris Hilton (she's everywhere), Scarlett Johansson, Eva Longoria, Kelly Osborne, Pink, Britney Spears (!), Gwen Stefani and Charlise Theron, among others.

With that kind of "People Magazine"-caliber celebrity attention, it's only natural that a CD would follow, this one fronted by Nicole Scherzinger, a former member of Eden's Crush, who also contributed to Shaggy's new album.

Hot lead off single "Don't Cha" features Buster Rhymes, and teases the male fans with the catchy chorus "Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?" The second track "Beep" features Will.I.Am of The Black Eyed Peas (another contributor to the Shaggy album), and this one would fit comfortably in any BEP album. The Top Three of the album is completed by "Wait a Minute" featuring Timbaland.

Other tracks to note are - well they all kind of sound alike from here on, except for the covers of "Hot Stuff" and "Tainted Love", which, frankly sound like something from a burlesque show.

This album plays shamelessly on the Dolls' popularity on stage, but there are also two bonus tracks of their soundtrack songs "Sway" (Shall We Dance?), and "We Went as Far as We Felt Like Going" (Shark Tale)

A good album, all things considered, and a likely candidate for a Trivial Pursuit Pop Trivia answer in a future edition. Rated 3.5 stars



Amanda Richards, September 29, 2005

The people digging this album and giving it 4 or 5 stars are either 12-years old or just simply not really fans of music. (These types do listen to music and own CDs, but in a passive way without any emotional connection to what they're hearing. You know the type.)

I won't add any further comments about the music on top of what has already been said here: this is silly, mindless audio pablum.

But here is what concerns me: Some keep writing here that this "group" is all about "female empowerment" and putting forth a postive message.

HUH?

I guess the "postive message" part comes from lyrics like "Don't you wish your girlfriend was a freak like me?" which comes from a song about one woman who is trying to steal a man away from another woman. Nice solidarity, sista! Classy, too!

As for the female empowerment part, I guess that comes from the way they dress: just like trailer park strippers. Who does their make-up for God's sake? Tammy Faye Baker? Yeesh!

And that inspires another thought: Reviewers keep saying how hot these chicks are. Really? Are you kidding me? Most of these girls look like they've been rode hard and put away wet ... A LOT! The only fantasies I have about them all involve me wearing a biohazard suit.

And, oh, yeah: Since only one really "sings", just what DO the other five girls do? (Wait. Don't answer that.)

Buy this now because in six months it will be pure nostalgia. Wait... nostalgia means looking back fondly on something. Oh, never mind!

Don't get me wrong, I'm a red-blooded, female-loving American male. I'm all for girls in music, if they can do it right. Like L7, Pat Benetar, Blondie, Joan Jett, et cetera. But this?

To all the males who bought this album: would you have looked twice at it if it were, say, a picture of Horatio Sanz on the cover as opposed to a bunch of strippers? Exactly.

Now on to the audio (I refuse to acknowledge it as "music"): how many times do I have to hear that abomination "Don't Cha" before I stick a pool cue in my ears? "DONT CHA WISH YER GIRLFRIEND WERE HOT LIKE ME!!!?" Abbey Road this ain't. The music contained within could be made by a preschooler with access to a synthesizer. Actually, that gives me an idea...

Kel, get me a five-year-old, a synthesizer, and a picture of a bunch of strippers, and meet me at the studio!
"But Eggplant! Where'm I gonna find a five-year-old with a synthesizer? Do I go to the strip club on 2nd street or 59th street? EGGPLANT?!? Awww, here it goes!!!"

Ahehehe. Sorry, I couldn't resist. But seriously, anybody could recreate this album. And it would sell. I could put an entire album of fart loops out, and if it had a hot picture on the cover, people would buy it. After all, look how many people got suckered into this schlop.

If you want real music, check out the Rolling Stones.

Don't cha wish the Pussycat Dolls would shut up?
Don't cha wish the pre-teens who eat this garbage up would grow up?
Don't cha wish TRL would get canceled?
Don't cha wish the PCD's and all of the similar "artists" would learn to spell?
Don't cha wish the PCD's would go back to their old job at the strip club?
Ah, I'm through. Who's next?

"PCD" may stand for Pussycat Dolls, but for all I know, it could also stand for Pretty Crappy Drivel. Jeez, how much lower can the music industry stoop? Now, don't get me wrong. I like guilty pleasure pop as much as the next Spice Girls or Justin Timberlake fan, but "PCD" is guilty pleasure pop that's high on guilt and low on pleasure. "Don't Cha" is passable radio-fluff; imagine a filtered-down Destiny's Child with just a fraction of Beyonce's sass. "Stickwitchu" and "Waitaminute" go in one ear and right out the other, and they have the unmitigated gall to ruin "Tainted Love," a old tune Soft Cell made famous back in 1982. Would anyone old enough to remember Soft Cell's version appreciate the Pussycat Dolls' version? Highly unlikely. "PCD" gets the dubious honor for making a great argument in favor of copy-protected CDs. That's because no kind person should rip and burn music this bad for his/her friends.