Notes From The VMA Press Bunker

So I've successfully infiltrated the 2008 MTV Video Music Awards. I'm currently holed up in the dark confines of the press compound here on the Paramount Studios lot, awaiting the beginning of the red carpet arrivals pre-show, watching the raw footage from the MTV camera people outside on the carpet. It's too bad they don't broadcast this stuff, because watching a giant pack of paparazzi screaming their heads off at lesser Hills personalities is pretty hilarious. As you can clearly see in the photo above, I'm having SO MUCH FUN passing the hours here in the press bunker. I've been giving fake press conferences, pretending to be Lil Wayne. I tried to roam around the studio lot, hoping to find a giant prop storeroom, from which I could steal long-forgotten treasures from the set of Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure, but my quest was cut short by one of the MTV press ladies, who looked like she might decapitate me with her clipboard. I do not bother to tell her that the Defamer guys are already running amok on the lot, making a mockery of her precious security efforts. So now I'm back in the press pen with the other sunlight-averse members of the media. Let me bring you up to date on the LA weekend so far. Last night I went to the Rock Band II show with the Plain White T's and Panic! At the Disco at the House of Blues to benefit LIFEbeat, though I'd say the event's best performances came from the random drunk audience members who thought it would be a good idea to go play Rock Band, poorly, in front of a bar full of people. Panic! At the Disco came in at a close second. After that, I went to the Roxy for the Rhapsody party, at which T-Pain regaled us all with song. He is amazing. Also I met New York from Flavor of Love and told her the only reason I don't audition for her dating shows is out of fairness for the other competitors, because she would clearly love me most. So what else? My arrival on the Paramount lot was greeted by a large elephant being hosed off by some
Picture: Notes From The VMA Press Bunker Published: 2008-09-07
Provider: VH1