While You Were Shouting For Toilet Paper for 720 Straight Days

Eliot Spitzer's prostitute pal "Kristen" has been identified as Ashley Alexandra Dupré, a 22 aspiring singer/vagina seller who grew up in the nation's cultural vagina selling capital, the Jersey Shore. But perhaps the most shocking thing about this young lady isn't so much that she rakes in almost $5,000 for 3 hours of "doing it", but moreso that Celine Dion is one of her Top 8 Myspace Friends. The latest performer to run into trouble in the strict Chinese Communist regime is all-around nicest guy ever Harry Connick Jr. Not because of any lyrical issues with the Cajun crooner, but moreso because he is, quote, "kind of lame." HERE IS THE BEST THING YOU WILL READ TODAY: Rachael "It's Spelled Ay Ee El" Ray's show will be canceled once her contract is up! The only thing left to wonder is how America's housewives will figure out how to but butter and cream cheese on pretzel sticks without her guidance. This list of the Top 8 Eliot Spitzer Post Headline Ideas is the funniest Governer-Hooker Related list we've ever seen. Read it to your mother over the phone and pause for the inevitable LOLing. Tim Gunn: Still Fabulous. Finally, a Western Kansas woman was taken to the hospital this week after sitting on the toilet for 2 straight years. In related news, a Western Kansas woman just broke the world record for reading the Da Vinci Code 538 times in a row.
	Published: 2008-03-13 Provider: VH1