Fergie is one of those artists whose style is not easy on the ears (or the eyes). To like her takes a little sense of humor, some perplexing preferences, and the ability to not always take music serious. To define her is rather hard, but she is somewhere in the middle of R&B star Kelis and pop star Gwen Stefani. This album "Dutchess" is not for the faint ears. The beats are wild with heavy sampling from some surprising artists. What do you expect from a woman who made a song called "My Humps"? This is fun music. Her goal was not to make a political statement or to reveal her inner self. She is making a record to introduce herself as a solo artist and for the people in the clubs dance the night away.

Vocally, Fergie offers many surprises. She shines on songs like

Voodoo Doll- an almost jazzy number mixed with rock

Finally- she almost sounds like X-tina on this song, but this song is one of the most "pop" songs on this cd

Velvet- sultry with a hint of Sade.

On Production. Fergie's producers went out their way to give her a sound all her own. She samples from some of the most surprising sources, too. Examples are:

Here I Am- she boldly sampled the Temptations classic "Get Ready"

Mary Jane Shoes- she sampled "No Woman, No Cry" from the great Bob Marley, but his widow backs Fergie on the tracks.

Lyrically, Fergie is weak. I cannot make up my mind if this is intentionally or if she really cannot write. Whatever the case, Fergie gives us some surprising (and funny) moments.

All That I Got (the Make-Up Song)- Fergie writes "Would u love me if I didn't work out or I didn't change my natural hair"

Fergalicious- Fergie writes "My body stay vicious. I be up in the gym just working on my fitness".

Velet- Fergie writes "Gold and burgundy, sink into me. I feel so warm".

This album has so much appeal, I don't think most people will pay attention to her awkward lyrics.

Highlights on this cd: Fergalicious, Clumsy, All That I Got (the Make-Up Song), Voo Doo Doll, and Glamorous.

How awful this is. However, instead of telling you, why this is trash, unintelligent and a waste of time. I'll show you.

[Verse 1]
When I come to the club, step aside.
Part the seas, don't be havin' me in the line.
V.I.P., `cause you know I gotta shine.
I'm Fergie Ferg, and me love you long time

All my girls get down on the floor,
Back to back, drop it down real low.
I'm such a lady, but I'm dancing like a ..,
`Cause you know
I don't give a ...., so here we go!

[Chorus]
How come everytime you come around,
My London, London bridge, wanna go down like,
London, London, London, wanna go down like,
London, London, London, we goin' down like...

How come everytime you come around,
My London, London bridge, wanna go down like,
London, London, London, wanna go down like,
London, London, London, we goin' down like...

[Bridge]Now As The drinks start pouring,
And my speech start slurring,
Everybody start looking real good.

[Verse 2] Grey goose got your girl feeling loose.
Now I'm wishin' that I didn't wear these shoes. (I hate heels)
It's like everytime I get up on the dew,
Paparazzi put my business in the news.

And I'm like get up out my face,
'fore I turn around and spray your ... with mace.
My lips make you wanna have a taste.
You got that?
I got the bass.

[Chorus]
How come everytime you come around,
My London, London bridge, wanna go down like,
London, London, London, wanna go down like,
London, London, London, we goin' down like...

How come everytime you come around,
My London, London bridge, wanna go down like,
London, London, London, wanna go down like,
London, London, London, we goin' down like...

[Bridge 2}
Aah, da, da, da, da, do, do, do, do
Me like a bullet type, you know they comin' right
Fergie love em' long time
My girls support right?
Aah, da, da, da, da, do, do, do, do
Me like a bullet type you know they comin' right
Fergie lve em' long time
My girls support right?

[Verse 1]
When I come to the club, step aside.
Pop the seats, don't be hatin' me in the line.
V.I.P., `cause you know I gotta shine.
I'm Fergie Ferg,give me love you long time

All my girls get down on the floor,
Back to back, drop it down real low.
I'm such a lady, but I'm dancing like a ..,
`Cause you know
I don't give a ...., so here we go!

[Chorus]
How come everytime you come around,
My London, London bridge, wanna go down like,
London, London, London, wanna go down like,
London, London, London, we goin' down like...

How come everytime you come around,
My London, London bridge, wanna go down like,
London, London, London, wanna go down like,
London, London, London, we goin' down like...

If you can read these lyrics and still think to yourself "Well, I think this is an album I should check out" O how I feel bad for you.

Fergie gets her Missy Elliot on in this Impressive solo debut from the underutilized Black Eyed Peas member. Fergie shows that she wants to take chances and on every song she throws formula out the window. Mary Jane Shows for example starts out as just a reggae song but at the end it turns into a power punk ska song with a wild beat. Finally is like a musical number with its extremely long run time and its over the top singing. Fergie even tries her hand at rapping, and unlike other singers who have tried such as Monica, Fergie shows a Missy Elliot like talent for flow. In Fergalicious she spits out the rhymes at a thunderous pace. On Here I Come she raps to the Temptations classic with impressive results. She shows that she can also show a softer side on songs such as All That I Got (The Make Up Song), Loosing My Ground, and Big Girls Don't Cry. If you hated the first single London Bridge than fear not, she mixes it up a lot. The only one real problem I found on this CD is that she never opens up emotionally at all. She plays with the idea here and there but never really bares herself to the listener. Regardless she does have many gems on this record. The stand out track is Clumsy. Fergie shows she has the talent to not need the Black Eyed Peas, but they sure need her.

Might as well throw 16 bucks into a dumpster. A dozen or so tracks featuring a 31-year old singer talking about how good-looking she is. And, oh yeah like we don't get the double-meaning with the title of the CD and the lyrics to the opening track "London Bridge." Even Britney Spears has more taste than that, and the sad thing is that Paris put more emotion into her CD than there is on this one. Fergie is just cashing in on the popularity of the talented Black Eyed Peas. Difference is that the Black Eyed Peas have a clearly defined sound and it all flows like colors on a canvas. All the colors on this record run together and form one - a greenish brown.

Let's start this review off by stating that I am not a kid, I just simply do not have an account. Ok, now for the review.

Wow. Just wow. This is seriously some of the most pathetic music (if you can even call it that) I have heard in ages. It's almost painful to listen to because of its extreme mindlessness. Let's put it this way, when I first heard "Fergilicious" on the radio (by accident) I seriously thought it was a joke. I didn't even think that it was a real song, because as I was listening to it I was thinking "There is no way a radio station would play a song that is this bad". So, you can imagine my horror when I discovered that what I had just heard was the number one requested song on that radio station. Wow, I think Fergie just topped James Blunt for creating the worst 3 minutes ever. It is mind boggling that people enjoy listening to this, let alone paying for a cd of it. In light of all this horrible pop music being released, it brings to the surface a question I have been wondering for ages. Why don't people play instruments anymore? I mean, where have guitar solos gone? Music has been in a steady downhill slide since Limp Bizkit became popular in the late 90's, not too mention all that "gansta" rap. However, that's a whole other story. The reason for this is...brace yourself...people don't listen to music anymore. Ok, that sounds absolutely ridiculous, but it is absolutely true. People obviously don't listen to this, otherwise, there is no way they would have ever bought it. The reason why Fergie, Justin Timberlake, and all your "gansta" rap sells is because those people have been brainwashed by the record companies into buying an "image". All of you people who bought this cd didn't buy it for the music, and if you did, I seriously pity you. You bought it for the image. That's what the risque album cover is all about. Record companies have discovered that in order to sell all of this crappy music, they need an image that is so overblown that it will take the place of the music. That is the underlying cause for rap's popularity. Let me tell you, if this had come out it the 70's, the record company responsible would be swiftly put out of business.

Here I'll prove it to you, now tell me, minus the whole image and front this "artist" puts on, would you really even consider listening to someone who writes lyrics like...

"Fergalicious definition make them boys go loco
They want my treasure so they get their pleasures from my photo
You could see you, you can't squeeze me
I ain't easy, I ain't sleazy
I got reasons why I tease 'em
Boys just come and go like seasons "

OR

"That puts them boys on rock, rock
And they be lining down the block just to watch what I got (got, got, got)
Four, tres, two, uno
My body stay vicious
I be up in the gym just working on my fitness
He's my witness (oooh wee)
I put yo' boy on rock rock
And he be lining down the block just to watch what I got (four, tres, two, uno)"
(Both taken from Fergilicious)

Ok, now look closely at what you have paid for. Not only are these some of the most ridiculous lyrics I have ever seen, I feel dirty just cutting and pasting them into this review. Actually, hearing some of these made me laugh out loud, they're that bad. In reality, it's all about shock value, and I guess that's what people want these days. However, the good news is, I can guarantee that Fergie will be long forgotten within the next 10 years. Kind of like Eminem (thank God). But, the bad news is, as long as gullible people are willing to buy an image and a disc full of crappy music, there will always be another one.

Thank you for your time.