While You Were Asking God “Why?” Over and Over Again

Well, it's official: Cameron Diaz has somehow obtained our list of "Famous Men We Want to Date", and is slowly crossing off each and every name off the crumpled Duane Reade receipt we scrawled the names on. She's about halfway down the list now, rumored to be dating the adorable and charming Bradley Cooper. Good luck to her in a few weeks when she'll be seen out and about with character actor James Rebhorn, the second to last name on our list before Spencer Breslin. Our beloved Owen Wilson is said to be in good condition after what has now been confirmed as a suicide attempt on Sunday, following an argument with a close friend. So much for being passive-aggressive. R&B singer Ashanti is said to be camera shy after putting on a bit of weight this summer. We would like to tell Ashanti to google "Myspace Angles", and welcome to middle America/my life. Scott Baio is gonna be a daddy!! Let's hope he's not seen fathering other children behind his own child's back! (See, because he cheats. The end.) Excuse me for a bit of self-promotion: If you're in New York City tonight, come check out my stand-up show, Just an Evening? with Michelle Collins, tonight at 10 PM at Rififi in the East Village. It's my last one! (For now.) And features a gaggle of hilarious comedians. I'll be the girl in the dress drinkin Stole Vanilla out of a boot. For more information, click here!
	Published: 2007-08-28 Provider: Best Week Ever
Keywords: Entertainment